


The Secret Pirate Garden of Penzance

by Aerwyna



Category: The Pirates of Penzance - Sullivan/Gilbert, The Secret Garden - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 09:55:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22494178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerwyna/pseuds/Aerwyna
Summary: Mary and Colin visit Penzance!
Kudos: 1
Collections: Summer Solstice Swap





	The Secret Pirate Garden of Penzance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Peter Lee](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Peter+Lee).



## The Secret Pirate Garden of Penzance

##### London, June 1912

Dear Martha,

I’m sorry I haven’t written to you for the past few days. We’ve just been having so much fun in London! Well, Colin and I are having fun. Uncle Archie doesn’t seem to like it at all. He doesn’t like a lot of things. 

Anyway, London is not very pretty, but there are so many wonderful things to do! We had a fancy tea and went to Buckingham Palace and I got three new dresses! The ladies in the stores all thought I was quite sophisticated. I’ll have so many new things for you to see when I get home!

Colin went to see the doctor and he was very pleased with his improvement. However, he didn’t believe me when I told him that the garden healed Colin, so I’m not sure how smart he really is. But he told Uncle Archie that keeping Colin inside all that time was making things worse. Now Colin has all of these exercises that he has to do to make his muscles stronger. It seems like a big pain to me, but I guess it’s worth it.

Speaking of the garden, I miss it terribly. Even though it’s fun here, I miss planting things with Dickon. And I still haven’t forgiven Uncle Archie for saying that you couldn’t come with us. How am I supposed to survive without your help? At least there are servants here as well, though none as fun as you. 

My uncle is calling me down for supper now. It’s our last night here, so I should probably go down. I’ll write to you again soon from Cornwall.

Your friend,  
Mary

\--------------------

##### Cornwall, July 1912

Martha,

Just a quick note for now to let you know that we’ve made it to Cornwall at long last. What a horrible trip! It was all rain and thunderstorms the whole way and our carriage broke down halfway through the trip, so we had pay for a ride in a public coach where we were packed in with a bunch of terrible, dirty, smelly people. Uncle Archie was no fun at all, and everyone doted on Colin and his little cane, which was quite annoying. I know that you would have distracted me from the terrible trip if only I had been allowed to bring you! 

In any case, the sun came out just as we pulled into this little town called Penzance. When we finally made it to the house, the view of the sea was picturesque, but I didn’t care for the salty smell at all. And thus far there seems to be nothing at all to do. I miss London already. And of course, I miss you and Dickon and the garden. Hopefully the next six weeks will go by quickly!

Yours,  
Mary

\--------------------

##### Penzance, July 1912

Dearest Martha,

I must update you on this strange little town. As I feared, there doesn’t seem to be much at all happening here. No dressmakers, no fancy carriages, no gardens. Just little people wandering around and selling gross fish. But we did meet the mayor yesterday, which might have been thrilling had he not turned out to be such a strange creature. 

He had no sense at all of when to shut his mouth and blathered on for hours about how he used to be the police chief and he defeated a band of pirates and all sorts of nonsense. Then, just when we thought it was over, his wife arrived and picked up talking about her time as a nursemaid on a pirate ship. Why on earth would a nursemaid be on a pirate ship? Colin found it all very amusing, but I couldn’t bear it. Uncle Archie was too polite and let them both go on for much too long. I nearly fell asleep.

Then, they offered us a tour of the town, which was the last thing I wanted. As I said before, there’s a prettiness to the shoreline and the water, but for the most part the town is dirty and has a general air of chaos about it. The one thing of interest that the mayor did mention was the Stanley Estate, which is just up the road from the town and has been around for a long time. Maybe there are civilized people living there and we can have tea with them. I could use a little civilization right now.

I hope all is well with you and Dickon back home. I didn’t think it was possible to miss Yorkshire this much!

Your friend,  
Mary

\--------------------

##### Penzance, July 1912

Martha,

Colin and I snuck into town today and asked about the estate. People said very strange things about it; there seems to be some kind of mystery, or at least something that people don’t want to say. Colin thinks it’s haunted, but I know that’s ridiculous. Still, we’re going to sneak over there tomorrow during Uncle Archie’s nap.

Mary

\--------------------

##### Penzance, July 1912

Martha!

You will never believe the day I had. Remember how Colin and I were going to sneak onto the Stanley Estate? Well, we tried, but we didn’t get very far. We had barely stepped off the road when we were attacked by pirates! With swords! It turns out that the mayor wasn’t making it up. There are actual pirates here! 

We were quite frightened at first, but then we noticed that the group that accosted us was mostly made up of children. Terrible, wild, filthy children, but not much bigger than we are. Still, they threatened us with their swords and knifes and marched us down the lane to the front of the house. There we found a group of adults lounging about, most of whom appeared unconcerned with our plight. A few admonished the children gently, or congratulated them, but mostly they just laughed. It was terribly rude.

One of the young boys ran into the house to fetch someone named Madam Mabel and we were left to wait. I took some time to study the estate and was sad to see that it had great potential but was in terrible disrepair. I wasn’t too surprised, though. These people seem to be quite lazy. Children ran around freely, shouting and screaming, and it was impossible to tell which of the adults were the guardians. They made our garden frolics look like promenades!

Finally, Madam Mabel appeared, and the children all grew quiet and gathered around. She was a lovely older woman with a calm and genteel smile. She gently told the boys to put down their knives and they obeyed. Even the adults took notice of her and sat up a little straighter. She was clearly the matriarch of the group and demanded respect. I liked her right away. Once her family was settled, she asked our names and offered us some refreshment. Unfortunately, while I was in the middle of coming up with a proper response, Colin blurted everything out in one juvenile stream. He is truly hopeless.

In any case, after we introduced ourselves, she began naming all of the children around us. There were at least twenty in sight with more sticking their heads out of windows or shouting from the bushes. I honestly have no idea how many there were, but they were all completely wild. Then she told us why: they’re all descended from pirates! You’re never going to believe this story.

Apparently, the estate belonged to her father, who was a Major General and descended from a noble family. He had several adopted daughters, of which Mabel was one. According to her, they were attacked by a band of pirates one day, and she instantly fell in love with one of them. The others wanted to kidnap all of the girls and marry them (strange behavior for pirates), but their father rescued them by claiming to be an orphan. I’m not sure why that was relevant. But when the pirates found out that he had lied they were very angry and attacked the estate. They fought with the police and were ultimately brought down by their allegiance to Queen Victoria (how? why?). Then, the mayor’s wife - who was indeed a nursemaid to Madam Mabel’s piratical husband - revealed that they were all formerly noblemen, and everyone got married anyway. 

Needless to say, this sounded like a load of hogwash to me, but everyone was nodding along, so I decided not to speak up. According to Mabel, all of the pirates moved into the family estate and the whole family has lived there ever since. The many children scurrying around were her grandchildren. 

By the end of the story, I was ready to go home, so I excused us - despite Colin’s protestations - and they encouraged us to come back tomorrow. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, but Colin seems very excited. Just as long as he doesn’t tell Uncle Archie, everything will be fine.

Your friend,  
Mary

\--------------------

##### Penzance, July 1912

Dear Martha,

Today I learned about the importance of being an orphan. It took a few days, but eventually Colin talked me into sneaking away to the Stanley Estate again. We were greeted much more warmly this time and invited to have dinner with the family, which was unsurprisingly quite a casual affair. Still, they were gracious hosts, even if their manners left something to be desired.

As we ate, Colin asked a million questions, including why General Stanley had been able to ward off the pirates by telling them that he was an orphan. As it turns out, the entire band of pirates was made up of orphans and they couldn’t help but take pity on one like them. One of the elders made a comment about how surprised he was by how frequently they came upon fellow orphans, and the younger children snickered. Then Colin decided it would be a good idea to announce to everyone that I too am an orphan. 

My friend, you cannot imagine the chaos that followed. Cheers and shouting and singing; pats on the back and cups of disgusting sherry forced into my hand. Suddenly everyone was obsessed with me being an orphan. Even when I told the sad story of how my parents died, they toasted it. Then, they stood me up, placed a huge hat on my head and a heavy jacket on my shoulders, and marched me down to the shore to meet the “Pirate King,” a middle-aged man with long, thick, greying red hair and a curled mustache. They eagerly introduced me as “Mary the Orphan” and the man sprang to his feet and embraced me tightly. He declared that it had been so many years since he had met a real orphan. And then...he offered me a spot on his crew!

Can you imagine? Me? As a pirate? I couldn’t help but laugh. Then he frowned. Apparently, he was quite serious, and it was a great honor to be asked. I thanked him and politely declined, but the crowd was not pleased with my answer. Everyone started yelling about how grand it was to be a pirate and how I should live in the house with them and sail the high seas. I nearly lost my composure. Finally, I said that I would consider it and that seemed to appease them. Then I grabbed Colin and we made a quick exit.

All the way home he squawked about how jealous he was and how much he’d love to be a pirate. I assured him that he had no idea what he was talking about. Then he said that I was afraid of adventure and Dickon would want me to become a pirate. That might be the case, but I hope that you, at least, would advise caution. 

I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t tempt me at all. Despite the new family I have in Yorkshire, I still don’t quite fit in. Maybe I should pursue an adventure! But then I think of those dirty children and living on a ship and I just can’t imagine it. I suppose at some point I’ll need to find a way to tell them, but I’m going to put that off for now. Maybe they’ll forget! 

I so wish you were here to guide me, Martha. You always know what to do!

Your friend,  
Mary 

\--------------------

##### Penzance, July 1912

Martha,

Yesterday, one of the Stanley Estate children showed up at our door. Thank goodness Uncle Archie was out! She came with an invitation for us to join her family for a sail that afternoon, and before I could say anything Colin blurted out that we would both love to go. Stupid boy. As you can imagine, I was not pleased with him or eager for our voyage.

And yet, I must admit that it was more pleasant than I had imagined. It was a bit frightening at first, but the Stanley clan turned out to be excellent sailors and it didn’t take Colin and I very long to get accustomed to being on the ship. It helped that the little girl and her mother stayed with us to make sure that we were comfortable. The mother, Edna, spoke fondly about her life with the pirates. She was obviously trying to convince me to join, but at least it was subtly done. 

For the most part I managed to ignore her and focus on the beauty of the ocean. I wish you and Dickon could have seen it. The vast expanse of water; the fresh air; the clear sky. It was all so beautiful. If we ever go to the seashore again on a holiday, I’m insisting that Uncle Archie allows me to bring you! 

Of course, that’s assuming that I turn the pirates down. I still haven’t decided. After today, I’m more tempted, which I suppose was the point. I need you to tell me what to do!

Your friend,  
Mary 

P.S. I forgot to tell you: we got back quite late from the sailing trip and Uncle Archie was very angry. He sat us down and asked where we’d been all day. I thought Dickon was going to ruin the secret, but he didn’t. He kept his mouth shut and I was able to convince Uncle Archie that we lost track of time down by the seashore. He didn’t seem convinced, but he let it go. Still, I didn’t enjoy lying to him, and I know you wouldn’t approve. So, I guess I need to make my decision.

\--------------------

##### Penzance, July 1912

Dearest Martha,

You’ll never believe what happened today. A prince proposed to me! A pirate prince, no less. What a lark! 

Where to begin? Oh yes. After Uncle Archie almost caught us the other day, I decided that we should stay away from the Stanley Estate for a bit. Colin initially agreed, but barely two days passed before he started whining about going back. I couldn’t bear it. At first, I told him that he was welcome to go there by himself, but it turns out that he’s too much of a timid child to venture out alone. Eventually I had no choice but to take pity on him and yield.

We were once again met with cheers and enthusiastic greetings upon our arrival, and everyone seemed especially eager to make sure that we were enjoying ourselves. I must admit, it was nice to have someone make a fuss over me again. In fact, I got so caught up that I barely noticed the young children leading Colin away or the adults drifting off. Before I realized it, I was left with just one companion: a young man with shaggy red hair named Freddy. 

Freddy invited me to explore the gardens with him, and as you might imagine, I couldn’t say no. I was eager to see what they would look like on an ancient estate like this! It was foolish to have such high hopes. The gardens were completely overgrown and had not been cared for at all, though I could tell that they had once been beautiful - overflowing with bright flowers and intricate topiaries. I wished that Dickon could see it and help me save it!

In any case, Freddy and I walked and chatted pleasantly for a little while. I told him about you and Dickon and our garden, and he told me that he was the grandson of the original Pirate King and therefore a Pirate Prince. I was politely impressed and thought that would be the end of it, but he went on to say that as a young prince he was in search of a wife and wished that I would join the band of pirates so that he could marry me.

What a notion! He can’t be more than fifteen years old! And I am certainly not ready to marry anyone, even a prince. Still, it was flattering, and I did blush. Perhaps a pirate’s life would not be so bad with an admirer…

But what of my family? How could I possibly abandon Colin and Uncle Archie and you and Dickon in dreary Yorkshire? And what if I got tired of Freddy? Or I liked another of the boys better? Or I met a handsome marine? I’m sure you’ll agree that it was all a bit much to take in. I told him that I needed to find Colin and he led me back to the main estate. However, I did allow him to kiss my hand before we parted. I cannot lie: it was quite thrilling.

Our return to the estate that evening was uneventful, thank goodness, but Uncle Archie was even more quiet than usual at supper. I suppose I’ve never given much thought to what he does all day while we’re sneaking about. Oh well. I’m sure it’s quite boring.

Your friend,  
Mary

\--------------------

##### Penzance, July 1912

Dear Martha,

What a disaster everything has turned out to be! As you can see from the teardrops on this letter, things have taken a turn for the worse. I haven’t the heart to go into it in detail, but I’ll give you the basics.

Uncle Archie followed us to the Stanley Estate this morning and was waiting for us on the porch when we returned home. He was furious and chastised us for lying to him, for sneaking around, and for consorting with villains. Colin tried to explain that they were friendly, somewhat honorable pirates, but it was all in vain. Uncle Archie would hear none of it. Then, Colin announced to his father that the pirates had invited me to join their family, and Uncle Archie said, “She will do no such thing!”

Well, you can probably guess what happened next. You know how I abhor being told what to do. I lost my temper and began shouting about how the pirates understood what it was like to be an orphan, how they would love me more than he even could, that I was going to marry a prince, and he couldn’t stop me. Then I ran up to my room. He shouted something after me, but I had my hands over my ears. I assume he was telling me not to come down for supper.

Colin came up to my room later with some food that he had smuggled out for me. Thank goodness he got some of Aunt Lily’s spunk along with his father’s melancholy! He told me that his father was still mad and hadn’t allowed him to come up to see me all afternoon. I told him that I was considering running away to the pirates and he told me that I should. It would serve Uncle Archie right. Then I said that he should come with me. He hesitated, and I could tell that the decision to leave his father would be a difficult one. But after taking a moment to think it over, he announced that he would never have another opportunity to become a pirate, so he had best take advantage of this one! We packed up all of the clothes and belongings that we could carry, waited for Uncle Archie to go to bed, and snuck out of the house.

Getting to the Stanley estate was a bit frightening in the dark, but eventually we found our way. Luckily, there were still lights burning and several of the adults were lounging around in the yard with their evening sherry. I asked one of them to fetch Freddy, and instead of getting up to find him, she just shouted out his name, waking most of the estate. Freddy appeared from inside soon after and looked quite surprised to see us. Surprised and pleased! 

I announced to him, and all of the others who had gathered around, that I was tired of the tyranny of my uncle and had decided to join their band. There was a loud cheer and Freddy grabbed onto my waist and lifted me right off the ground! Then, he kissed me on the mouth! Needless to say, I was very shocked (and you are forbidden to tell this to anyone!). 

They all began hugging me then and I barely felt Colin tugging on my sleeve. I remembered then that he was with me and announced to the group that he was coming too. The cheering died down suddenly and shifted into uncomfortable muttering. I asked Freddy what was wrong, and he said, “I’m sorry Mary, but Colin cannot join us. He’s not an orphan.”

“Neither are you!” I argued, but he just shook his head. 

“I’m descended from the original crew,” he said, as if that was some kind of explanation. “All new crew members must be orphans.”

“My mother is dead!” Colin insisted, poor thing. “I never even met her.”

“That’s not good enough,” Freddy said. “Both of your parents have to be dead.”

I could see Colin fighting back tears and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I made my final decision right there and then. I told Freddy that I thought his rule was the dumbest thing that I had ever heard and that I no longer had any interest associating with him or his shameful, disgusting family. Freddy’s face got very dark - along with all of the faces around us - and he leaned in close to my face to whisper, “then you had better get out of here quick.” I saw his hand moving toward his sword and grabbed Colin’s arm. We ran and never looked back.

Thus it came to pass that we returned to the house in the middle of the night with our bags packed and had to wake up Uncle Archie. We weren’t planning to come back, so we didn’t leave ourselves any way to get back in. The good news is that Uncle Archie took one look at our frightened, tear-stained faces and let us back in without a word. However, as we crept up the stairs he called after us that we shouldn’t bother to unpack. 

I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing you sooner than expected. That’s the one comfort I can take in this whole terrible affair.

Your friend,  
Mary

\--------------------

##### London, August 1912

Dear Martha,

As I predicted, we are on our way home several weeks early. But it turned out not to be the disaster that I imagined. 

The morning after our unpleasant encounter with the pirates, Uncle Archie forced us to tell him everything that had happened. Then, he marched us right back to the estate and requested an audience with Madam Mabel. He apologized to her for our actions and made us apologize as well, which I thought was a bit unfair. But she was kind about it and within a few minutes everything was fine. She even invited us all on another sailing trip! 

My heart almost stopped when Uncle Archie said yes. Luckily, Freddy and the Pirate King were both absent for that particular voyage. And I didn’t realize that Uncle Archie was capable of having so much fun! I wish he was like that in Yorkshire.

In any case, I’m grateful to have Cornwall and all of those peculiar pirates behind me. Please tell Dickon that Colin and I are both eager to return to the garden. We’ve had quite enough adventure for one summer!

Your friend,  
Mary


End file.
